Losowy


- Pytanie do Rasiaka po meczu z Kolumbią:
- G1
- Siedzi dwóch kolesiów w kinie, a przed nimi taki w2
- Po nocy spędzonej w hotelowym pokoju, gość zszedł 3
- - Dziadku, nie widziałeś przypadkiem takiej małej 4
- W publicznej toalecie kabinki oddzielone są tylko 5
- Bogdan baraszkował w najlepsze z kochanką, gdy usł6
- Warszawiak, Œlązak i Kaszub pojechali na wczasy do7
- Podczas kursu na skałkach wspina sie młoda adeptka8
- Dyrektor dużej fabryki wzywa do swego gabinetu sek9
- W zatłoczonym autobusie:
- Co się pan tak pc10
- - Jak państwo wiecie, w językach słowiańskich jest11
- - Jak pan myśli co jest w dzisiejszych czasach wię12


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Unikalne <sep> jak zawiązać krawat <sep> 36 i 6 <sep> Artykuly <sep> Artykuly

Czy pamietasz te hity? Czy wiesz skad to sie wzielo?

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Kategoria SMS-

Losowy SMS:
Piję by paść, padam by wstać, wstaję by pić, piję by żyć.

1. Przychodzi Jasio do taty i mówi:
-tato dziś w nocy miałem pierwszy raz stosunek
TATO dumny mówi
-to świetnie synu. jak było
-dobrze
-a kiedy zamierzasz to powtórzyć Jasiu
-oj nie wiem tato bo mnie od tego stosunku wciąż dupa boli

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(jasio): 258

2. Po kilku nocach panna młoda skarży się matce:
- Wiesz mamo już kilka nocy śpimy razem i nic,
jeszcze się nie kochaliśmy
- Ależ córeczko, może jest zestresowany
- Ale mamo on tylko książkę czyta, i wcale nie zwraca na mnie uwagi
- Wiesz córeczko, skoro on nie zwraca uwagi to może
ja się położę zamiast ciebie i sprawdzę, o co chodzi.
I tak zrobiły. Maż w łóżku czyta książkę, teściowa się kładzie i leży,
nagle maż wsuwa rękę pod kołdrę i w majteczki zaczyna rękę wkładać.
Wyskoczyła teściowa z łóżka i do córeczki:
- Ależ kochanie, chwile leżałam i zaczął się do mnie dobierać
- Tak, tak..., Palec zmoczy, kartkę przewróci i dalej czyta...

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(kilku): 689

3. Czym się różni nauczycielka od nauczyciela
Nauczyciel drapie się po dzwonku a nauczycielka po przerwie

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(si): 106

4. Mówi blondynka do koleżanki:
- Wczoraj wchodzę do kuchni a mój mąż siedzi na taborecie i wali sobie konia!
- I co?! Zrobiłaś mu awanturę?
- Nie - zrobiłam mu laskę - lepiej umyć zęby niż podłogę...

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(wi): 209

5. Był sobie Adam i Ewa. Pewnego dnia Ewa mówi do Adama:
-Adam poruchajmy się.
Adam mówi:
-Rozkraczaj się.
Ewa się rozkracza. Adam patrzy i mówi:
-Ale ty tam nic nie masz!.
Spierdalaj i jak będziesz coś miała to przyjdź.
Ewa idzie przez las i płacze. Mówi:
-skąd ja znajdę cipę?
Nagle spotyka bociana. Bocian mówi:
-Czemu płaczesz?
-Adam powiedział, że nie mam cipy, więc się ze mną nie będzie ruchał.
A bocian odpowiada:
-To nie ma sprawy ja mam długi dziób to ci wydziobie.
I od tej pory bociany mają czerwone dzioby a dziewczyny cipę.
Wraca Ewa do Adama i mówi:
-Adam mam już cipę.
-To się rozkraczaj.
Ewa się rozkracza.
-A co to - mówi Adam - a gdzie włoski.
Spierdalaj i nie pokazuj mi się bez nich.
Ewa idzie przez las i płacze. Spotyka małpę.
-Czemu płaczesz - pyta się małpa.
-Nie mam włosów na cipie i Adam nie chce się ze mną ruchać!.
-Nie martw się - odpowiada małpa - ja mam trochę włosów to mogę ci trochę oddać.
I od tej pory małpy mają gołe dupy a dziewczyny włosy na cipie.
Idzie Ewa do Adama i mówi:
- Adam mam już włosy! Możemy się ruchać
- To się rozkraczaj. Adam wsadza jej ale po chwili wyjmuje i mówi
- Ała co ty chcesz żebym ja sobie skórę zerwał?
Spierdalaj i bez śluzu nie przychodź.
Ewa mówi do siebie - gdzie ja znajdę śluz? Idę się utopić.
Przychodzi nad wodę. Już ma skakać kiedy nagle pojawia się śledź.
- Czemu płaczesz? - pyta się śledź.
-Nie mam śluzu i Adam nie chce się ze mną ruchać.
-Ja mam dużo śluzu - mówi śledź - mogę ci trochę pożyczyć.
I od tej pory nie wiadomo czy śledź śmierdzi pizdą czy pizda śledziem!

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 1690

6. Kupił se facet wersalkę, samochód, firanki i telewizor.
Telewizor nazwał - cycuczki.
Wersalkę - Baśka.
Samochód - piteczka.
Firanki - Majteczki.
No i mu ukradziono te rzeczy, i idzie na policje i mówi:
okradziono mnie a policjant na to:
co?
ON - Samochód.
Policjant - bardziej szczegółowo
On - Leżałem na Baśce, oglądałem cycuszki,
odsłoniłem majteczki i nie było cipeczki.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 423

7. Która laska jest najbardziej aerodynamiczna?
- Ta, która nie stawia żadnego oporu.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(ra): 91

8. Dwóch facetów zgubiło się w lesie.
Po 2 dniach błądzenia i głodówki znaleźli polanę, na której stała chatka.
Myśleli, że to jakieś przywidzenie, ale chatka okazała się prawdziwa.
Zmęczeni i głodni weszli do środka.
Stał tam stół zastawiony jedzeniem.
Podbiegli do stołu i już sięgali po żarcie,
gdy nagle wyskoczyła strasznie brzydka baba-jaga.
Powiedziała tak:
- pozwolę wam to zjeść, jeśli jeden z was mnie przeleci,
Po chwili zastanowienia jeden z nich zdecydował się poświęcić.
Drugi wyszedł. Ona zamknęła oczy,
a ten chwycił do ręki kolbę kukurydzy i zaczął jej ładować.
Kiedy skończył wyrzucił kukurydzę przez okno
i zaczął bez opamiętania jeść.
Kiedy wszystko zjadł, przypomniał sobie,
że jego głodny kumpel stoi za drzwiami.
Wyszedł do niego skruszony i mówi:
- wybacz mi, ale byłem tak głodny, a sex z nią jeszcze mnie osłabił.
Wszystko zjadłem. na to kumpel:
- dobrze, że przynajmniej wyrzuciłeś mi tą kukurydzę,
tylko miała trochę za dużo masła!

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(ch): 1043

9. Kolega do kolegi.
Czy Ty ze swoją dziewczyną to próbujecie nieraz w tę drugą dziurkę?
Nie, my na razie nie chcemy mieć dzieci.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(do): 139

10. List dziewczynek do mamy z koloni
Mamo nie martw się o nas bawimy się jak damy
-A jak nie damy to się nie bawimy!

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(dziewczynek): 126

1 |  2 |  3 |  4 |  5 | 

Naftohaz oskarża Gazprom o ograniczenie dostaw gazu do Europy
Ukraińska firma Naftohaz oskarżyła we wtorek rosyjski Gazprom o ograniczenie o około jedną trzecią dostaw gazu, przeznaczonych dla państw Europy a przesyłanych przez terytorium Ukrainy.
"P": Polscy producenci odzieży zaczynają cienko prząść
Światowy kryzys zaczyna pogrążać polski przemysł odzieżowy. Bankructwo grozi co trzeciej firmie - ostrzega dziennik "Polska".
Hausner: Rząd musi stworzyć program antykryzysowy
Rząd powinien uruchomić program przeciwdziałania spowolnieniu gospodarczemu i wzrostowi bezrobocia, mówi Jerzy Hausner, były wicepremier i minister gospodarki, w obszernym wywiadzie udzielonym "Gazecie Prawnej".
Tłumy Białorusinów w sklepach i bankach - ludzie pozbywają się rubli
Tłumy ruszyły do sklepów i banków, żeby wydać lub wymienić ruble po tym, jak w piątek bank centralny zdewaluował narodową walutę o 20 procent.

Losowy


- -Po co, sąsiadko, zainstalowała pani przy telewizo1
- Sąsiadki rozmawiają na temat Zenka: -To bardzo p2
- Przed domem kłócą się dwie sąsiadki. W pewnym mome3
- -To, co wiem i umiem, zawdzięczam nowemu budownict4
- Spotykają się dwie nie przepadające ze sobą sąsiad5
- -Dzień dobry sąsiadko, czy pani słyszała ostatnią 6
- -Dlaczego pani wpatruje się w moją bieliznę? -pyta7
- -Co ci się stało w oko? -Dostałem śrubokrętem od8
- Kowalska spotyka Nowakową. -Jak się chcecie koch9
- Szef samorządu pracowniczego proponuje dyrektorowi10
- Dyrektor przyjmuje do pracy sekretarkę: -Ile pan11
- Dyrektorowa żali się sąsiadce: -Wyobraź sobie, ż12
- Kierownik działu kadr wchodzi do sekretariatu i za13
- Dyrektor wchodzi rano do sekretariatu i pyta: -J14
- -Czy jest dyrektor? -Dla pięknych pań dyrektor j15


Statystyki

Osób on-line: 3.
Smsów: 8991 / 8992

- Lekarz mówi do pacjenta: -Mam dla pana dwie wiad1
- Przychodzi zezowaty facet do zezowatego lekarza. 2
- Idzie facet do lekarza i mowi: -mam krzywe nogi 3
- Pielęgniarka mówi do lekarza: - Panie doktorze, 4
- Lekarz w szpitalu psychiatrycznym bada trzech swoi5
- Do lekarza przychodzi przedszkolak i pyta: -Czy 6
- W szpitalu: Lekarz obserwuje młodziutką, piękną 7
- Mąż wraca wcześniej z pracy i zastaje swoją żonę w8
- W szpitalu rozmowa salowej ze szczęśliwą matką now9
- Na zabawie chłopak ciągnie dziewczynę do łóżka. Ta10
- Mąż wrócił wcześniej do domu, gdy kochanek nie zdą11
- Przychodzi Etiopczyk do domu. Nagle staje koło nie12
- Na plaży naturysta do naturystki: - Pani bardzo 13
- Siedzą w knajpie przy barze dwa kutasy i popijają 14
- - Z czego byś wolał zrezygnować? Pyta się Francuz 15
- Żona do męża: - I jak ci smakował dzisiejszy obi16
- Pewien facet żyjący od kilku dobrych lat na bezlud17
- Było sobie takie średnio dobrane małżeństwo. Żona 18
- Przychodzi pijany mąż do domu. Oczywiście ucieszył19
- Żona z kochankiem leży w łóżku. Przychodzi mąż: 20


News


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